Post Fail

Nuff said....

Omelets

I made myself an omelet for dinner last night. IT was fantastic!! Eggs, salsa, and pepper-jack cheese. The following picture is not mine, but my omelet was just as fantastic looking and probably better tasting.

Omelets fascinate me. There used to (quite possibly still is) an omelet shop in Chicago that my friends and I used to go to ALL the time, ever time we went up there. I would always get the spinach and feta omelet. They then would bring me out this heaping plate of warm, smelly goodness. The eggs were like clouds. *drools* I then made it my mission to make AWESOME omelets for anyone who wants one. So omelets are probably about the only thing that I absolutely rock at making.

OK, so thinking of spinach and feta reminds me of the spinach and feta calzone I used to get at One World in Peoria before the douche bags changed over to making pizzas. I would get a spinach, feta, and walnut calzone with raspberry vinaigrette. Hold on while I go find a picture to drool all over.

Yes, I am aware that this calzone has a cup of not raspberry vinaigrette, but just use your imagination.

GREATEST. LOL. EVER!!

It's been a while.....who cares....STFU

Lets see, since I last updated, apparently nothing has happened. Not entirely true. I have been to Florida for a week and back, hung out with my mom under a tent and drank LOTS of beer, and saw tons of people I used to hang with in high school under that same tent. This tent would be the beer tent at Brimfield Old Settlers Days. That saturday was NUTZ.

Pic I have been holding out to put online.


Which brings me talk about my moms friend. I'll call her Hippie. Well Hippie is a fuckin Hippie, with her clove cigarette smokin ass. I don't know why I have an issue with hippies, but I do. I try not too, but I can't help myself. I don't dislike all hippie-minded people, I just don't care for real hippies, who smell like patchouli and travel around smokin dope and looking like bums. Anyway, I digress. Hippie was hangin under the beer tent, smokin her cloves, and spinnin to the bunk ass country music playing. I think she kept trying to make out with my mom. Which if my mom wants to get her swerve on with a chick, I don't care, but please don't let it be the fuckin hippie!!

Ok, I am done with the Hippie.

My own fuck family circus..

I loved the fuck family circus section on howtokillpeople.com, so I decided to make my own. I only have one done now, but I will make some more later.

Last night...

Last night I watched a short video named "Hung", the summary is "Five lesbians, a magic potion, something they never expected from sunrise to sunset...." So the movie shows what they would do for a day if they had a penis. I know what I would do!!! No Man, Woman, or Plant would be safe.

I was telling my co-workers about the short and my thoughts. To which I get these kinda replies.

Q: How do you know Michelle with a penis has been in your house?
A: All the combos are gone and the cats are pregnant!!

I almost died laughing so hard.

Then the same person makes this for me:


Here is a youtube I uploaded of the short.

Funny as shit..

Not that shit is funny. I have been in a blog funk lately. Haven't really found anything that floats my boat. Till today...
Here are my favorite ones.

Suxor..

I have an ear infection. Both Inner and Outer Ear. For the past week I have wanted to stab my ear drum outta my left ear, I think it would have felt better. I used to get ear infections all the time in my right ear, which has caused a lack of hearing ability out of it, so my left ear has been my good ear. So needless to say I have been walking around pretty much deaf and grumpy with my face swollen out all weird looking.

Common signs to look for are:

• unusual irritability


• difficulty sleeping


• tugging or pulling at one or both ears


• fever


• fluid draining from the ear


• loss of balance


• unresponsiveness to quiet sounds or other signs of hearing difficulty such as sitting too close to the television or being inattentive

I don't even feel like gis'in or quotin anything.........

Because if you..

Because if you didn't like the muppets your parents probably abused you.

For your and mostly my pleasure...

So apparently..

Apparently, I look like....



As my buddy Erina pointed out.


......bitch

Here's the hair.

Here are pics of my new hair.


My hair looks a little red here, not sure why..cause it isn't.


I know I am a dork. I love it.

Oh I captured the best picture EVER today. LOVE Bridget McManus

Then of course I had to lol it.

Quote:
"If you don't like fried food your not a good american!" - Geri played by Maile Flanagan on 3way

No Talent Ass Clown

I got my hair cut friday night. Exciting. I got a faux-hawk. Yes, yes I know douche bags usually get this cut. However, I am a dyke, I can totally rock it. The only draw back is the fact that when my hair was longer you couldn't see the large clumps of hair that are silver/grey. However now you can. *Sigh* I bought hair dye, I have not used it yet. I don't know if I want to do it or not. I am sure pictures will follow later of the hair.

Oh, a few weeks ago my great grandma passed away. I went back home for the funeral. My mom, grandma and myself were at my great grandma's house looking through things. I found in the hall closet, a 30 year old bottle of courvoisier. Needless to say, that is now in my possession along with some two fingers tequila, black berry brandy, and amaretto. Oh the back story of why she had 30 year old, unopened liquor. Grandma Kretz used to work for Hiram Walker back in the day, and was privileged to alcohol from time to time. This was one of those bottles. She also got an awesome bottle of whiskey in a gold bottle with her name on it when she retired. My grandma kept that.

Here is the courvoisier.















Here is a baby bunny that we rescued out of our yard, after momma bunny didn't come back. We took all 8 of them to a rescue lady, who will hand feed them and rehabilitate them back to the wild. They were so cute. Estimated at about a week old. Eyes weren't even open yet.




















This is my fat cat who wants to know when she can eat said bunny baby. She didn't get to and was kinda pissy.














Not much else to say. Weekend was too short.

GIS - No talent ass clown


Quote: Dialog between Michael and Samir from Office Space, discussing Michael's name.

Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Don't touch a....

Don't touch a wired battery and a metal frame at the same time.

Story time....

I was taking apart an old digital camera 1. for curiosity sake and 2. to see if I could fix the problem it has been having with fuzzy pictures. Anyway, I get all the outer case off, and start to take off the inner plastic case, all the while I noticed it had an internal battery that must get charged from the 4 AA batteries that you power it with. I don't think anything of it, I soon find out that battery is wired to the metal parts that I am using for leverage when trying to pry off the inner case. So long story short about 3 minutes after dropping the camera, with the faint smell of burnt hairs and flesh and a throbbing in my tongue with a metallic taste, I realize that the camera electrocuted me. My ring finger on my left hand that was in direct contact with the battery is purple with a small blister from where I touched the wire. I proceeded to put the camera back together. I think I am going to scrap it.

I don't really have a GIS term today. I did do a search for Aggie Mackenzie from How Clean Is Your House. That turned up:

To which I then looked up the word "tasty" and found two delicious photos:

I think I could get used to the idea of "Tasty Tuesday..."

Lets see, we have had the lesson of the day, the images of the day, now we need the quote of the day.

"Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."

--Homer (not simpson)

Pii Pii is all I have to say

Pii Pii with video goodness.

The Power of the Pussy

Reading Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. on afterellen.com in which they are discussing a lesbian moment in the British teen drama Skins, so I hop on over to youtube to view the video that was linked and that little nugget of quote gold was at the end of the clip. "The Power of the Pussy." L.O.V.E it!
For your viewing pleasure here is the clip.



On other notes. I am going to the cardinals game tonight vs the washington nationals. I am confident they will kick their ass.

In keeping with the spirit of blog post image of the day and quote of the day here ya go.

Google image search for Power Pussy revealed many a photos that....well I am sure you can use your imagination..but here is a blog friendly one.








Quote of the day:
"You know what I like? Dyke, it's a strong word, I am reclaiming dyke, say dyke just say it."
-Andrea played by Jill Bennett 3way on 3waytv.tv

Holy Crap Batman.

Kids these days are absolutely amazing, however not in a good way in this case.


I have finaly decided that I will follow in the trends of everyone else (as I normally do). I have started this blog to write about randomness such as fun images I find with google image searches (I like when safe search is off), news articles, and so forth. I am sure you will soon get the idea.

Here is the image for this post:

Quote of the post:
I usually make up my mind about a man in ten seconds; and I very rarely change it.
Margaret Thatcher